Thursday, December 19, 2013

Braces

I'm sure that if you have or have had braces, you know how awful they are. Let me just list some reasons why they are horrible for those of you who have Invisalign or nothing.
For you braces patients, I'm not about to tell you something you don't know.

Vocab:
Bracket - the squares glued to your teeth
Springs - A replacement for rubber bands, but they do the job better. And they cut and damage your mouth. Permanently. I can testify. They gave me springs because at first I wasn't wearing my rubber bands (they hurt!!!), then my rubber bands weren't doing well enough (when I was wearing them).

Braces are awful because:
  • When something breaks (your bracket, your chain, etc.), you have to go back to the orthodontist, and they tend to tighten the chain when they're replacing it due to breaks.
  • There's metal in your mouth. That's not supposed to happen. There's literally metal stuck to my teeth with glue. That's just gross, unsanitary, and unnatural!
  • You've all heard this before, but of course the brackets and springs (if you have them. Most people don't. I had them for a while. I hope I'm not getting them back on this Friday during my appointment.) cut and leave indents in your mouth.
  • It's harder to eat with braces. You can't just bite off a piece of an apple, or you risk getting it stuck in your brackets or breaking a bracket.
  • Food gets stuck in your teeth easier, and it's harder to get it out
  • You can cut your tongue on your braces
  • If they don't cut off enough of the extra wire behind your teeth, it pokes you and makes you cut and bleed. They've done this to me once, and it was enough for me.
  • The orthodontists talk to each other before, after, and while they're working on your teeth. They talk about their boyfriends, their bra sizes (yes, really), gossip, whatever comes to mind. It seems as though they have #nofilter when they speak!
  •  Someone I know (don't ask who it is) has this story: Whenever he went to the orthodontist, the same woman always worked on his teeth. This woman always "rested her boobs on the chair" right on top of where his head was supposed to go. Then when he sat down, she kept telling him to "scoot up" until his head was literally in her boobs. I don't know if this story is just a tale, or if it's really true. Either way, it's funny/gross! Remember that this is a 30-ish year-old woman and a boy with braces.
  • It's harder to brush your teeth with braces. You have to put in a lot more effort to get in all the new crevices.
  • When they get their braces off, some people have "freckles" on their teeth that are white marks surrounding where the brackets used to be. You have to either get these filed off or get your teeth whitened (Crest Whitestrips or professional).
  • Your teeth might go back to where they previously were after getting off your braces.
  • My friend's brother had to have braces twice because he didn't wear his retainer enough!
I just looked up "braces memes" and I found the picture I put on the top of this post. There's a lot of funny braces memes out there (and a lot of sexual ones too...)!

Today is:
The 353rd day of the year
12 days left in 2013
12 days until New Year's Eve
 6 days until Christmas (a week from tomorrow)
 1 day until winter break (YES!)

1 comment:

  1. i can relate! I got my braces off a while ago and most of the blisters/bumps etc heal but they leave little rough patchy scars inside your mouth, especially under your lips and under your cheeks.

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