Monday, January 13, 2014

People Who Don't Use the Changing Rooms & Bra Stuffing

You know what I mean.
  • Those girls who think they're sooo hot, they can just go naked in front of everyone?
  • Those women who don't even care enough to find a changing stall anymore?
  • Those little kids who run around buck-naked?
  • Those 10/11 year olds who have absolutely no insecurities?
What I mean is: anyone who doesn't bother to use the changing stalls, when the stalls are 3 feet away.
I have two stories for you about situations where there's changing stalls and not everyone uses them.

Changing before gym class in the locker room. We have stalls for a reason. We don't live in the 80s, strippers--I mean STUDENTS. Obviously, all the girls in any given period's gym class are in 1 grade, so the first bullet only applies here.
  • There's a group of girls who like to strip right in front of my gym locker, because that's also where theirs happen to be. Great, I get to watch flat-chested sticks undress right down to their bras. Because not one of them wear Sugarlips or undershirts, of course.
  • And might I point out that they wouldn't be so comfortable changing out in the open if they were wearing pads. And we both know that some days, tampons won't cut it; the blood flow is too light. Or maybe too heavy (as the case may be). Obviously, everyone needs to use pads once in a while (if not more), when the blood flow is too light for a tampon, and pads are bulky and the "wings" show from the outside of the underwear. I'm sure if they were wearing pads, they wouldn't want to change in the open, yet that's what they do every gym class. What I'm getting at is that maybe they haven't gotten their periods yet! How hilarious would that be? Just the thought is making me chuckle. No wonder they're so immature! This explains everything! Just kidding, it's just some food for thought.

YMCA locker rooms. I don't know WHY women feel the need to walk around flopping their junk around! At my YMCA, the boys (under 18) have a separate changing room from the men (I think this would be a good time to point out that the boys' locker room has a WHIRLPOOL, COUCHES, and FLAT SCREEN TV and the women's'/girls'  DON'T), and the girls and women share a locker room. I don't know why this is so.
  • Anyway, it's horrible because 50 year old women literally sit in the sauna and read, unclothed. Uh, ever think someone might want to use the sauna WITHOUT a free porn session? The worst part of the sauna thing is that their junk literally touches the wood in the sauna. Other people like to sit there, you know, without being afraid of having your dead ass-skin particles all over their pants.
  • That's not even the worst of it. 50+ year-old women walk around, flaunting their unshaved junk. Ever think we don't want to see that shit?
  • My friends on the YMCA swim team don't feel the need to use the changing stalls. I do, of course, but they change RIGHT next to a stall, and don't use it. I understand they don't have bras/tampons (they're all 10-11), so it's easier and less embarrassing to change in public, but still! They SHOULD be embarrassed to change in public, especially because they don't have to--they CHOOSE to!
  • Also, 5-year-olds prance around the YMCA changing rooms, refusing to get dressed, just walking around buck naked. This is practically child porn, which, might I remind you, is illegal.
Some people don't know how to stuff their bras. Please, girls, if you're going to pretend you're a B when you're an A, don't stuff your bras with toilet paper. We can see the lumps. Just buy those plastic things from CVS. Geez, invest in a bra-stuffer that won't completely give you away. Although, there's no use in lying to people, because the minute he gets your shirt off--if that ever happens to people like that--he'll know what's up. I have a specific person in mind when I say this. Just to let you ALL know, I DON'T DO THAT, I just happen to know about it.

1 comment:

  1. the bra stuffing reminds me of the movie "angus thongs and perfect snogging"... and im surprised you'd have a specific person in mind!