Wednesday, January 8, 2014

People Who Drop Their Phones in the Toilet

Let's begin with posts you'll be seeing in the future!
  • People who don't bother to use the changing stalls
  • Phone case rubric (you'll see what I mean when I write this post!)
  • People who disobey Period Etiquette (not sure if I'll really do this one)
Now, let's get fired up with annoyance for people who drop their phones in the toilet!

Phones are getting bigger and bigger. The iPhone 5(s) is huge, the Nokia Lumia 1020, the Windows Phone (I think that's its name anyway), and just about every phone out there (obviously not counting flip phones). Not even just smartphones. I had a stupid phone (ha ha) before, and it was pretty damn big, too.
  • Girls: I feel your pain. Your phone doesn't fit in your pocket, now does it? Well, that's why the purse and the wristlet were invented. Because we girls have tiny pockets that even our own hands don't fit in, and we need to carry extra stuff, like hair bands, maybe makeup for touch-ups, period supplies, you know... The works. So what's your answer? You put your phone in your back pocket anyway (it's the biggest pocket and most comfortable place to have it up against you). And what happens? When you pull down your pants to use the bathroom, the phone pops out and--if you're unlucky--splash, into the toilet it goes. There's a solution for that, isn't there? And you didn't use it. Now that's your fault, isn't it.
  • Guys: All guys need is the keys, phone, and wallet. And they all fit in those oversized basketball shorts/jeans pockets. There's no way your phone will slip out of those! They're practically purses BUILT into your clothes! And even if you DID have skinny jeans with tight pockets, boys only need to pull their pants down for crapping, not pissing, which happens less often anyway. So basically, the whole wheeee-phone-goes-into-the-toilet problem is eliminated by those giant pockets. So THANK YOU clothing designers who blessed us girls with tiny, "cute" pockets.
Bottom line is, if you drop your expensive phone into the toilet, the fault is all yours, for not preventing it.
There are tons of cute bags out there, you know. Vera Bradley makes a phone holder/wallet (affordable enough). Coach has plenty of wristlets and purses that will hold your phone. Michael Kors has tons of purses that will hold your phone (and maybe a vacuum cleaner or two), and cute little teen-sized cross-body bags (I wish I could afford that!!).
  • "cute," pockets.

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