Friday, January 31, 2014

Types of People in Gym Class

Hello there, blog readers. Today I have a different kind of post. Usually, I just rant about things I hate, but today I'm going to tell you the different techniques in gym class.
  1. The diehard fitness trainer to-be. This guy is in gym to work out, not to talk to their friends. They are hardcore sports addicts, and will always be within 3 feet from the soccer ball, or will do as many bicep curls as humanly possible.
  2. The sporty bitch. She thinks she's so hot, she works out to show everyone how hot and in-shape she is, not to work out. She does a million different sports (including lacrosse of course). However, she will ignore everyone but her popular cronies.
  3. The grunter. When we lift weights in gym, there's always that one guy who grunts while lifting weights. Well, you're a guy, so you're clearly not pushing out a baby. Are you constipated?
  4. The corner kid. This kid (AKA me) will take shelter in the corner or behind a tall person. I've been trying to get more out of my opportunities to work out in school, but it's really hard when I'm shy... And wear short-shorts and don't want anyone to see inside when I lift my legs.
  5. The slut. This girl will wear short-shorts and a tight, spaghetti-strap tank top, wanting everyone to gawk at her beautiful shape and tan.
  6. The social butterfly. These people are usually popular, and will want to do group activities such as Dance Dance Revolution (DDR), which requires a partner. They tend to always follow their friends around, or vice versa. They will never be without a friend in any class. If they don't already have a friend in any given class, they'll hurry up and make one before they go lonely for one class period.
  7. The loner. This person will never speak until spoken to. When you strike up a conversation with them, they will give one-word answers, or very short ones at least. If you want to hear more, you'll have to ASK them to elaborate.
  8. The radio hogger. This person will puppy-guard the radio for the entire class period so they can change the station when a song comes on that they don't like. They stand next to the radio, in case anyone dares to change the station without their permission.
  9. The girly girl. The girl who wears a full face of makeup to gym, and has a completely coordinated outfit every gym class. Meaning a whole Nike DriFit ensemble, and Reebok or Nike sneakers.
  10. The cocky one. This boy will lift the highest weight possible so he can look strong and muscular. All he ever thinks about is how to make himself appear better.
  11. The odorous one. This kid (usually a guy) never washes his gym clothes. You can smell him coming from a mile away. His shirts probably have permanent pit stains.
  12. The excuser. This girl will usually find a way out of gym. Maybe she "forgot to bring a pad" that day and has to go to the nurse, or she "accidentally" tripped and got a miniscule cut, and has to go to the nurse. Maybe she "has scoliosis" and "can't do gym anymore." She will also jump for joy when she finds out she has health instead of gym for an entire term.
  13. The teacher's pet. This kid will ask too many questions, try to excel at everything they do, and will burst out in tears if they get anything but an A+.
  14. The teacher's worst enemy. This kid will sit on the machinery before we're allowed, do everything we're not supposed to do, and use every machine wrong.
  15. The faux show-off. This person doesn't actually play sports, but pretends s/he knows exactly what they're doing during gym. They will attempt to do cartwheels, etc. but will either fail or be sort of successful.
  16. The cheater. When the teacher turns around, this person will stop exercising. They will pretend to do 12 reps when they really only did 2.
  17. The dramatic faller. When we're playing sports in gym or lifting weights, this person will fall over "by accident" every 5 minutes. Of course, she does it in a hilarious manner, so I burst out laughing, which is probably the goal.
  18. The Band-Aid box. My friend from Sparkles and Scribbles came up with the name for this one. This is the kid who's injury-prone. S/he always ends up getting hurt during gym, and has to sit out for the rest of gym. If only I could fake injuries like that.
    Me: "I sprained my ankle yesterday... Yeah, I tripped on my cat... I think she tripped me on purpose."
Recently, I switched to health from gym. So I've been thinking about health class and gym class a lot this week. I guess that's what inspired this post.
Look out for my anti-Valentine's day post! I'll probably write it closer to Valentine's day, seeing as we still have 2 weeks to go. I just wanted you to look forward to that. :) My next post will probably be the TMI tag because I think it will be funny.

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