When people see me, they first see my mass of medium brown hair. But then, they see a girl wearing way too much makeup. They see my eyeshadow, eyeliner, and foundation first. And they judge me for it. They think I must be insecure. They think I must care way too much about how I look. I must care about nothing but the way I look. I must have no personality. No hobbies or interests.
They don't want to be friends with someone like that, so they don't bother getting to know me. They don't try to find out who I really am, because they already judged me. As far as they know, I may be a robot.
But I am, in fact, an interesting person. I love getting glammed up. It's fun. So why not do it every day? That's one of my hobbies. I also happen to like a variety of music, playing Minecraft once in a while, complaining, and blogging. But only my friends know that.
I know this has prevented me from making friends. And it has attracted the wrong kind of people. The kind of people who would identify with the kind of person they think I am. I attract people who care too much about how they look, because they think I care too much about how I look and they can identify with that.
But the question is, do I even want to be friends with people who judge me right off the bat and therefore don't approach me or deem me untouchable? Is it a good thing that I am warding off these types of people? Maybe I should want to deflect the types of people who judge me by my appearance.
Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe not, but either way, I am not going to stop wearing makeup, and I'm not going to reduce my makeup, in order to make friends. Because I want to wear makeup, and if it's preventing me from making friends, so be it. It makes me happy.
If any of that makes sense.
In summary, I am filtering potential friends, but I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing.