Thursday, September 17, 2015

10 Unfortunate Moments for Quiet/Socially Anxious People

I diagnosed myself with social anxiety last fall. It usually flares up at the beginning of the school year because I have to warm up to everyone again. On top of that, I'm also pretty quiet in certain situations. This can make for a tepid-looking personality to the casual observer.
  1. When I'm talking at a normal volume and no one can hear me. "You talk so quietly!" Or maybe you need to listen closer!
  2. Some people think I'm really quiet and shy (usually acquaintances or other students at school) and some people think I'm loud and opinionated (friends, especially close ones).
  3. When I'm sitting a few feet away from a group of people but don't want to just invite myself into the group. If I'm lucky, someone will invite me in, and they'll usually say something along the lines of, "Julia! Come sit with us!"
  4. Any kind of vagueness. Please explain everything in full detail so I don't have to ask a question.
  5. Getting a bad participation grade even though I know a lot of the answers in class. Usually it goes something like this:
    Teacher: what's the answer to number five?
    Me: *thinks I know the answer but not 100% sure*
    Another student: fifteen!
    Me: goddamnit
  6. When someone says "hello" or "how are you?" as I'm passing by. After this happened a few times, I developed a few answers that you can't go wrong with.
    For "hey!" or "hi/hey Julia!":
    1. Hey [insert person's name here] (if time permits)
    2. Hey!
    3. Oh, hey!
      For "how are you?"
    1. Good, thanks (if I'm passing quickly).
    2. I'm fine, thank you.
    3. I'm good, how are you?
    4. Good thanks. How are you?
  7. When I need to buy something and I'm not with friends/family. Just the thought of walking up to the cash register and reciting my order is scary. What if I forget part of it? What if someone cuts me in line and I can't say anything about it? What if it takes too long to get out my money/card and everyone's waiting for me while I fumble around with my wallet?
  8. When I am with friends and I'm buying something and they assume I'm too shy/anxious to purchase it myself. I'm fine when I have people I know around me. Because if something weird happens (which it never does, but I still worry about it), my friend(s) will be there to save me.
  9. When people unexpectedly strike up a conversation with me. I would like to be mentally prepared for when I have to face my social anxiety.
  10. When reconnecting with friends I haven't seen in a while, and I need to warm up to them again and they notice but aren't sure why. "You seem quiet today. Are you okay?"

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