Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Article Response: Having Big Boobs

This article is more about how to feel confident with big boobs. (source)
This article was extremely meaningful to me because I struggle with body image issues due to my big boobs. People think I'm half-joking when I complain about my boobs, but if I'm being honest, having big boobs can really fuck with your confidence. I'm also very short, so my boobs take up at least half of my torso space. Which consequently makes me look shorter and fatter, even though I'm not fat and I'm not tragically short. I'm 5'1 (maybe 5'2 by now). And I haven't even gotten to how the fashion industry makes smaller boobs look ideal.
At this age, I'm fifteen, almost sixteen, I go to school most of the time, which leaves me with limited outfit options. I can't wear anything too dressy. I can't wear heels or fitted blouses (I mean I could, but I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so). I also can't show a lot of cleavage, even if I wanted to or felt comfortable, and I can't wear anything super tight. Also my parents are pretty controlling about what I wear (probably because they're not used to me wearing anything with a neckline lower than the collarbones. What I wear isn't actually particularly revealing). In summary, in my situation it's hard to wear clothes that accentuate my curves.
Last year my friend had a pool party, and I went out of my comfort zone and wore a more revealing bikini. It was lightly padded, with just a bit of push up for some lift, resembled a bra but cuter, and it was a dream. It was a tad too small, but I could get away with it, easily. The band size was too big as usual, because it was a sister size to my bra size, so I tied it around the back instead of using the clasp. I could never get it tight enough, however, so I had to tie the halter tightly, hoisting my boobs up and creating the illusion of a more voluminous chest. It had a push-up effect. I could finally reveal my secret boobs! I shamelessly flaunted my risqué ensemble. I only had one nip slip, and it was among mostly close friends! This was during the early stages of summer break. A few weeks ago, a friend admitted someone made a comment about my outfit. "Revealing," she called it. I had thought I flew under the radar with it. I had hoped everyone was jealous Apparently that was not the case.
That wasn't the beginning of my love-hate relationship with my boobs, however. I got boobs in the fifth grade. "Wow, this is great! I look hawt!" I thought, naively thinking my journey would end there. I'm now at the biggest cup size and smallest band size sold at Victoria's Secret. The Secret's out, Victoria doesn't cater to big busts. Thanks for nothing, Vicky. And neither does any other store in my area. This is the last size before shit gets real. I'm just crossing my fingers and trying to eat less.
My bikini was similar to this one from Aerie, except with navy and white stripes.

Here's what I hate about my boobs:
  • I look frumpy in any kind of t-shirt. The worst part is, my wardrobe consists of mostly graphic tees.
  • They take up half my torso space when wearing a bra.
  • Waistlines that are supposed to land at the waist (shocker) land right under my boobs, yet in the right spot on my back.
  • I can't throw on any old shirt and look normal, like girls with average-sized boobs can. Boobs are hard to style.
  • Bikini shopping is excessively difficult. It shouldn't be, all I need is a waterproof bra. Can't you see I don't need "ADD TWO SIZES!!"?
  • Girls with smaller boobs can throw on a push-up bra and look big for one night. I'm big all the time.
  • Bras that give me a nice shape are usually too thick and sweaty in the summer, and show bra lines under sweaters in the winter.
  • Sports bras and minimizer bras just don't do the trick and make my chest sore. On top of that, the shape is all wrong. Is it that difficult to mimic the shape of normal boobs?
  • Since I've been blessed with the boobs, I get no ass. My ass resembles a frying pan. A frying pan that's been sitting in dirty dishwater for two weeks to the point of no return. No amount of exercise will repair this sad derrière.
  • I can't wear infinity scarves.
  • Even knotting the side of my shirt can make me look bulky and midsection-heavy, because it leaves a gap in the space under my boobs.
  • Normal-fitting t-shirts have the same gap under my boobs.
  • I don't feel comfortable in form-fitting shirts that accentuate my boobs and actually fit them. I've been trained to be ashamed of my boobs.
  • A lot of t-shirts are tight across the upper half of my boobs and then hang down from the other half, making my boobs look smaller in diameter but with a strange shape, which is just a weird and unnatural look.
  • People laugh in my face when I complain about my body image issues saying, "that's not a real problem."
  • There's so much advice on "How to minimize your big boobs!" "How to downplay your chest!" But I want to accentuate it and embrace it, not hide it. I also can't find any advice on how to feel confident with big boobs, because it's assumed that I know big boobs are ideal.
  • I get attention from the wrong kind of guy. It's the materialistic, superficial guys who I get attention from. Please, if I wanted your cheap hookups I'd go to wrestling practice and pick up a hotter guy.
  • I've been reduced to boot cut and flare leg jeans. Almost every day. Because that's the only way I can flatter this kind of figure. I love me some flare leg jeans, but it's hard to find the right fit, especially since I'm so short. It's a good thing I know how to hem my own pants.
  • The fashion industry always uses tall, flat-chested models. I assume they're more versatile and photogenic, and probably easier to style. But that just leads to confidence issues for those of us who are the polar opposite of that, and in reality the models don't look perfect either. They just have amazing Photoshop artists, and a professional hair and makeup team.
The hardest thing for me to come to terms with has been accepting my differences. I'm unique, and that's not only okay but preferable. I wish I had perfectly sculpted eyebrows and maybe a little more height (I wouldn't mind a Barbie-doll ski-slope nose, either), but I don't and that's what sets me apart. No, I don't look like a model straight off the runway, but that makes me unique. I've learned the art of the "half tuck," where I tuck in only the front of my t-shirt to avoid the tent issue. I have to put more effort in putting outfits together because I can't throw on just anything. I have trouble accepting that some people can do that, and I'm not one of them. I have trouble accepting that I can't have it both ways. The article emphasized the importance of accepting your differences, and even though I had already realized this was a necessary step to achieve body confidence, it was good to hear someone else say it.
That all being said, I'm not terribly insecure about my boobs, they're just a nuisance and often unsightly in my mind. It is what it is. C'est la vie, mon amie.

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